I explore the lands for me unknown. I didnt wish to be forced into this world, but I was put in it against my will.
I knew what I signed, I knew what I did. I sold my soul either to the devil or the angel.
The door behind me is already closed, there is no need to bother looking back.
And yet in the back of my mind I still feel this sensation of dissatisfaction. The feeling as if I could have been much more, or maybe much less.
I do not know what, who, or why I am. Cogito ergo sum is the only thing that keeps my soul cold. Gods have either forsaken me, or they have prepared a fate worse than death for me.
why
why
why
why
why
why
whywhy
why
why
this is funny, i try to run away from my problems by learning all about websites, machines, software, operational systems. And yet I still feel empty.
I have nothing to worry about, no financial, nor health, hell not even educational.
But I just cant ever be good enough, I migth be smart in one thing, but then I find out that I suck at the other and instead of being happy about the others, I feel envy
Not even about what they did, how, or why could I not. I just know that if I wanted I could have won. So why do they get the happiness. Even without praise.
But I still feel this... this infuriating dissapointment, in myself. In the person. In everyone. But I still am in the wrong. I know, but I cant help it.
Why has thou forsaken me creator, left me in this pitiful creation, left me roaming this world for nothing but a wish to be perfect or at least worthy of thee.
This is cringe isnt it? A grown person already, already knowleagble about the burdens of life and still wishing it could be better, but instead of trying to be better I write about my "hardships".